What Happens If You Succeed?

Have you ever thought about that?  So many of us spend our lives trying to find love, happiness, family, security (financial or otherwise).  We try and hope, and wish….and sometime during all that, we “do”.  And by doing, we actually succeed.  Maybe not fully, but enough to make us sit up and take notice.  What happens if all of a sudden someone comes into your life who’s actually willing give you what you’ve been asking for?  They’re there for you when you’re happy, sad, angry, up, down….whatever.  They understand when you need quiet, but don’t want to be alone.  They may not like it when you’re angry, but get that you need to work through the emotion.  Oh, and then there are those times when you push them away, over and over again, but you see, here’s the thing.  You don’t really want them to leave.  Somehow they get this.  Somehow they understand.  Not only that, they truly understand where you are in your life.  You haven’t finished one thing, you’ve been strangled for so long, you’re learning how to breath again.  They know that you need to get out and experience people, and life in general.  They get that you don’t want to say “what if”, ten years down the road.  They’ve got their own stuff to finish and there are no guarantees, but right now, they give as good as they get.

Now here’s the really scary part, what if they not only do all that, but love you too?  They know you’re not perfect, but they feel that you’re perfect for them.  What do you do when that happens besides exclaim, “Are you sure you’ve got the right person?”  They describe you as they see you…..you hear the words, sometimes see them and swear they need their eyes checked.  You swear they’re not talking about you, because that person they described sounds wonderful.  Exactly like the person you wish you were.

They say the words that you’ve been wanting to hear forever, and you know they mean them.  You feel it down to your core.  What do you do?  It’s never happened before.

You’d think I’d be happy about this turn of events.  My emotional bank account has been running in the negatives for a long time.  I don’t know, maybe if I was able to dig under the fear, I might find that I’m happy.  Nobody is asking more of me than I can give right now, nor are they promising the world.  What a concept.

This is another exercise in not only learning to listen to my inner voice, but also trusting in the Universe.  The ironic thing is that I trust my inner voice and the Universe when it pertains to other people.  Me? Not so much…or more so, I don’t trust my interpretation.  When it comes to me, my viewpoint is jaded, pure and simple.

I can tell one thing for sure though, if I can ever accept this and wrap my brain around it, I won’t be the same person that I am right now.

Present Day

I recently found the above writing…it’s from approximately two years ago…and is part of my “story” and “who I was”.   I can gladly say, I’m not that person anymore, just as I suspected I wouldn’t be.  I’m also happy and have learned how to better “hear” my intuition when it pertains to me.

Nowadays, life is simple, though not always easy.  I’ve succeeded in realizing a dream…I’m currently in a healthy, loving relationship where there are equal parts love and respect.  This is something I never thought possible.  I was also scared that I wouldn’t know how to live my life if I succeeded in realizing this dream.  In many ways, I live my life just as before…day by day.  The difference is I accept this dream came true, believe that I deserve to be loved and happy…that I deserve to give love and help others to be happy…that this belongs to everyone by Divine right.

So many people are more fearful of success than they are of failure.  They start businesses, put their heart and soul into them, and just as the business is about to turn a corner and be a success, they sabotage it in some manner.  They stand back and wonder how the business could fail after it was doing so well.

In the years since I became a thetahealing practitioner, reiki master-teacher, and integrated energy master-instructor, I’ve seen more dreams and enterprises fail due to fear of success rather than fear of failure.  People who are used to “losing” have no idea what it feels like to “win”.  This can be an overwhelming issue…and often requires soul searching and healing.

The next time you set out to complete a project, work at realizing a dream, or attempt something new…ask yourself “What happens if I succeed?  How will I feel?  Can I handle who I am if I’m a success?  Will I be comfortable as that person?  Will I relate to others the same way I do now? How will others relate to me?” Pay close attention to how you feel when you ask yourself the question for the very first time? Your emotions and feelings are giving you clues to possible blocks or fears.  These are just a few of the questions that I suggest you play with.  If you can think of more, throw them in.  Do whatever you can to clear the fears and blocks that are keeping you from your success.

Embrace your true self.  Accept what is yours by divine birthright.  Be the you you choose to be. Have fun and enjoy the adventure.