Let’s get something straight…light and dark are not synonymous with good and evil.
I mean, the freakin’ KKK wears white and Darth Vadar had a light saber…that’s an awful lot of light without any goodness to be seen.
Dark is the time for quiet, for rest. It’s the time to go within and unearth your great3est gifts.
Your shadow lives in the dark. Your shadow isn’t bad. It’s just the part of you that needs to be loved the hardest.
And what do we do with our shadow instead? We ignore it. We decide it’s bad and unlovable and each time we do that (and by “we” I am including those who profess to “work in and of the light” and I am including me)–each time we ignore and hate the shadow, we are killing it. Denying it the love it so desperately needs to be integrated and healed and to feel like it’s part of the whole. We try to change it rather than accept it—> and eventually, we will kill it…which is killing a part of yourself.
I’m not a huge fan of immediately shining a light on the shadow. Sometimes it’s too much and too overwhelming for it. When that happens, it recedes deeper into the darkness making it more difficult to accept.
Rather than shining a light on your shadow…help it to feel safe first.
It starts with a conversation like this:
“I’m so sorry I ignored you. That’s what I was taught to do. I didn’t know you that you are good and are not here to hurt me. I know you don’t fully trust me, but would it be ok if we just sat together for a little while? We don’t have to talk unless you want to.”
Eventually, it will start sharing its pain and its wisdom with you.
Then, you can ask if it’s ok for you to hug it. And when it’s ready, tell it you will hold its hand as the two of you walk together from the darkness and into the light so that it can see itself for the first time. The best way to do this is through visualization or imagination.
The more often you do this, the more each aspect of your shadow will begin to trust you and heal…and that, of course, is the key to living a life of meaning and freedom.
I’ll leave you with one more thought before I go:
What if you were to dance with your shadow instead of sticking it deeper into the corner? How much more freedom would you have? And here’s something else to consider–how much more self-confidence would you have? (You didn’t think about that one, did you?)
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Much love and abundant blessings,
