This Made Me Angry

I was perusing my Facebook feed yesterday and the Huffington Post shared an article written by Dr. Phil called, “9 Tips For Bringing Passion Back Into Your Relationship”.  Now, I don’t love Dr. Phil, but every so often says something that makes sense…and I also like to hear about relationships from a man’s perspective.

He had some interesting ideas, but man oh man…when I read one particular suggestion, I was steaming mad.  Here is what he said:

“Acknowledge your role.
Ask yourself what you might or might not be doing to contribute to the situation, and what you can do to change things. This does not mean it’s your fault, but you do play a role. For example, men are visually stimulated, so look in the mirror and consider if you should make small changes, like fixing your hair, losing the weight you’ve been complaining about, or dressing sexier.”

I totally agree that both partners carry some of the responsibility for things fizzling out, but to suggest that a woman fixing her appearance is going to fix their sex life is ludicrous.  First of all, most woman are aware that have let themselves go in some way. Things like putting on weight and not fixing her hair have more to do with how she feels about herself than just being lazy.

There are an infinite number of situations that can cause a woman to stop taking care of her looks.  One of which is a husband who is not interested in having sex with her.

First of all, a woman should be taking care of her looks because she wants to feel good about her for her.  If she’s only making herself pretty to please her man, she’s devaluing and disempowering herself.  And for the record, men…the same is true for you.  Take care of your looks for you first.  Ugh!!

What kind of message is this sending???

This crap is one of the reasons I created the I Want My Sexy Back movement.  If a woman is letting herself go, then her partner should be asking what he can do to help her.  She shouldn’t be made to feel bad because she is not as visually stimulating as she once was.

Here’s something else…women are visually stimulated too.  Yet, they don’t stop having sex with their guy because he put on a few pounds.

Ladies…and Men….please….if you see your partner letting herself go….stand by her side and work together to find the underlying cause.  Help your partner to feel confident again.  Help your partner to get her sexy back.

Don’t judge them because they don’t look attractive anymore.  Let’s face it, we’re all going to age…all of our looks are going to change.  If the only reason you are with your partner is because he or she looks good, then I suggest you rethink your relationship.

I’m so damn passionate about this stuff.  I know what it feels like to have your husband lose interest in having sex with you.  I know what it feels like to have your husband go from husband to roommate.  I also know that I played a role in it and that my role was based on my underlying unhappiness.  Putting on more weight was a side effect of the unhappiness as well his lack of sexual desire.

Now, at my highest weight ever, I am with a man who loves me for who I am.  He finds me sexy whether I’m dressed up or in my sweats.  He wants to have sex with me no matter what I wear and no matter what I look like.

This isn’t only about sex, though.
This is about feeling sexy, embodying sexy, being sexy.

It’s about knowing you can be a mom and still be sexy.

It’s about knowing you can be sexy no matter what you look like.

It’s about knowing that even though you hate your job, you can still be sexy.

It’s about knowing that if you are unhappy or unsatisfied, you can still get your sexy back.

Come with me.  Let’s walk this path together.

Is now the time for you to start feeling good about you?

 Is now the time to get your sexy back?

We start on October 6 and I’d love to have you join us.  Let’s do this thing together.
Sign up here:
www.iwantmysexyback.org

Much love and orgasmic wishes,