Well, tomorrow David leaves for his Vision Quest. I can’t believe it’s here already. I’m happy and scared all at the same time. I mean, we’re not just talking one partner in a relationship going on vacation and another staying home. This is way bigger than that. He’s going on a Journey. I can’t help but worry about the toll it’s going to take on him….physically, spiritually, and emotionally. That’s the point of going on a Vision Quest though, isn’t it? The Quest begins with a Sweat Lodge Ceremony, which is kind of a purification process. I believe this one consists of four doors (or sweats). After the ceremony, he’s taken to a sacred site which was picked out earlier where he will live for four days in complete solitude. Oh, did I mention that during that time he’s on a complete fast? AND he cannot build a fire for warmth, and there is no shelter. All this will take place at an altitude of approximately 9300’. The goal is to receive some form of inner clarity or (dare I say) spiritual enlightenment and possibly healing.
It’s interesting because the process affects me as well. We are so in synch that my energetic shifts affect him and vice versa. When David originally planned this trip, I looked into going on some sort of retreat. I’m in need of some healing and a retreat sounded like a good idea. It seems the gods have other ideas because nothing worked out. Then I decided to make more plans with friends than I usually do, and that hasn’t worked out either. My client even cancelled on me this week. I cannot imagine how I’m going to get through the next week; heck we don’t even have a TV. I do work at the store two days this week, and then there’s the radio show. I know I have articles to write for the October issue of the magazine (www.openzine.com/metaphysicalmonthly yes, that’s a plug). Still, the Universe is creating a lot of quiet time within my typical surroundings. I love my bird, cat, and fish, but they don’t make the best conversationalists. My soul must have decided that I need this, but my ego is yelling NO NO NO!
So, between all the shifts he’ll be making and the ones that I’m sure I’ll be going through, I can’t help but wonder what the future will bring. On a spiritual level, I know all will be well, whatever the outcome. On the egoic level, well, I’m not so sure. It’s times like this when I really wish I better at living the Law of the Detachment, but I’m not.
I’m going to miss David. My ego wants to be a part of this journey with him. My heart and soul know better, besides, me and camping do not mix. I love being in nature, but I am a hotel girl through and through. While I admit to being scared, I am somewhat curious and excited. I have never lived alone. I’m not sure I’ve ever even spent one full night in a house alone. Vacations yes, but that is not the same as dealing with the “stuff” of everyday life. I’m still learning to balance what I Know to true with what my ego thinks is true and that really is okay with me, on all levels.
Life is going to be very different this week. I may or may not like it, but one thing is for sure, David is not the only one going on an adventure, I am too.
