I have a confession to make. I have been lying to myself…and to you…for a long, long time. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say I’ve been lying to myself (and, therefore, everyone else) for more than 40 years.
You see, it all started back in the 70’s when I had a huge crush on Donny Osmond. I would sing “Go Away Little Girl” and “Puppy Love” for hours….and yes, my hairbrush was my microphone. I’d daydream about Donny magically finding me in my home at the end of the block and declaring his undying love for me and we’d live happily ever after. I would stare at his picture while making up stories about how perfect our life together would be and read and re-read the articles written about him in Tiger Beat Magazine.
One day, I decided that if I really wanted him to find and love me, I had to start showing him how perfect I was for him. I wrote hundreds of letters (all unmailed because I was too scared to actually send them) explaining why I was his perfect match.
Now, back in the day, Donny was known for his love of purple and always wore purple socks. So, if Donny was ever going to return my undying love for him, I Knew that I had to become a purple lover. I always liked purple, but it wasn’t my favorite color…until I declared it to be on that fateful day.
Of course, Donny never found me and I moved onto bigger and better things like Shawn Cassidy, Leif Garrett, Scott Baio and eventually Jon Bon Jovi. Oh, and The Rock, I can’t forget Duane the Rock Johnson…and L.L. Cool J and Tom Cruise for a little while and….well, you get the picture. LOL
Back to favorite colors….so I never got my “happily ever after” with Donny, but I had grabbed onto the purple persona so tightly that it stayed with me for years. I remember being in high school and noticing that most of the girls I hung around with said purple was their favorite color. I held tight to my secret that it wasn’t actually mine because I wanted to fit in….I wanted to be who these people wanted me to be. I thought that was who I was supposed to be.
When David created my first website, it was mostly green with a touch of purple because I thought those were the colors a professional healer was supposed to have. I don’t know why. I also remember telling him that purple was my favorite color…the habit was so ingrained that I actually forgot it wasn’t.
This all may sound silly to you, but I really wanted to share with you how lying to ourselves about one small thing, pretending we like something that we don’t, trying to fit ourselves into someone else’s mold so they’ll like us can haunt us forever.
Today, I’m asking you to look at your life. Where are you doing something similar…even if it’s in a small way? Take notice of it, acknowledge it, and make the choice to at least be honest with yourself. As for me, well, I’ve been slowly but surely embracing my actual favorite color….Pink…but not just any old pink…what I love is big, bold FUSCHIA.
Have an awesome week!
Much Love and Abundant Blessings,
PS If you feel like you could use some help in embracing your true self, I can help. Schedule a Soul Archaeology Session here.
3 thoughts on “Who Are You Being?”
Love your article! I used to be so disconnected from my self that even when I had time alone I still found it really hard to decide what I wanted to do, I would always think of other people first – what other people thought was cool, interesting, acceptable! It was a long journey to move away from that and to love and accept myself. Your article is very powerful and a helpful reminder to check in once again and notice where I may be doing this still. Thank you! Sharon
I’m happy to hear it resonated.
Have a great day!
Thank you, you too! Sharon xx