It’s funny how a person can lose a part him/herself without recognizing it. I was actually reminded of it this past Friday. If you were to meet me in a purely social situation, you’d meet a very shy and socially awkward person….but that’s only a part of who I am. When I’m working, I’m very outgoing and depending on the situation, I can be quite animated and dynamic. There’s another aspect to my personality, though. The vibrant woman who flirts with everyone.
Some consider flirting to be an action that’s used to create or denote a sexual attraction. I don’t flirt with the purpose of wanting to copulate with every being I meet. I flirt because it’s fun. I flirt because flirting without looking to create a mutual attraction is an exuberant, high, fantasmical energy. It lights me up and it lights other people up as well. It’s a way of being radically present in the moment, affirming another’s humanity, letting them know that you see them as a person and not as anything but a human.
When I’m flirtatious, the smallest thing becomes miraculous to me and I celebrate it in the moment. For example, I was shopping the other day at a place where I have a store credit card. My norm is to not have the card on me and then we have to go through the tedium of looking up the number etc, etc. When I found the card in my wallet, I actually squealed, “Yay! I have my card!” My exuberance over something so simple made the clerk smile and chuckle…even more than that, she lit up.
Another day I was at the grocery store and was genuinely excited when the woman counted the money I gave her and I realized that I had handed her the proper amount. I was literally laughing and excited over getting it right. At that point, the cashier was sort of cracking a smile and I looked right at her and said, “Come on, you know how it is. Some days counting out the right amount of money is a huge accomplishment.” With that, this woman who was originally literally hunched over the cash register, not making eye contact with anyone, stood tall, looked me right in the eye with a huge smile on her face and said, “You got that right!” We had a few more chuckles after that and as I was leaving the store, I heard her happily greeting and conversing with the next customers in line.
So how does this relate back to not knowing you lost a part of yourself? Well, this is who I was when I was a kid. Always laughing and vibrant…talking to everyone. Life happened and I got shy and introverted. When my marriage ended and I was starting my new life, the vibrancy returned. I met David and we started our amazing life together. However, we ran into deep money problems at one point which caused us to go on food stamps. Even though we always had food in the house and somehow we always made rent, I was constantly worried about money. I’ve never had to worry about money in my life…this was totally new to me.
I became obsessed with business and with work. How could I make more money? What did I need to do so we could make ends meet without being on food stamps? My kids live with their dad, but when I saw them, I wanted to be able to do things with them and take them places. For a long time, I couldn’t.
During this time, I started lose more and more of my vibrancy. I lost the joy in day to day life. I stopped flirting. No one really noticed (other than David) since most of the people in my life were either new friends or people who I have known forever and only knew me as the quiet, shy person.
It’s taken me a long time to get back in touch with my sexual energy. It’s taken me a long time to embrace the little miracles of day to day life and it’s taken me a long time to start flirting again. Here’s the thing though, when I’m that energy, I’m an energy that’s magnetic. It lights people up and brings them joy. And if David and I are together? Oh man….people can’t help but laugh and giggle and (I’m going to say it again) light up.
What if you being you could bring more joy to the world? It can and it will.
What part of you have you lost or kept hidden from the world? What would it feel like if you were to acknowledge, embrace, and live it?
You did such a great job with last week’s challenge…so, I’m going to challenge you again. I’m challenging you to Reclaim a piece of you that you have lost. I’m challenging you to embrace it. I’m challenging you to live it….even if it’s just for 30 minutes a day. And let me know how it goes. I really enjoy hearing about you.
Be you. Be free.
As always, I’m here to help if you need it. You can reach me at robin@robinlinke.com for a 30 minute Possibility Session. What’s a Possibility Session? It’s where you and I speak for 30 minutes so you can discover what else is possible for you.
Much love and abundant blessings,
